
Helix wrote:
It's very hard to believe BJ is gone though I held him in my arms as he went, then placed his body on the floor for Marcus and BJ to say goodbye. I clipped hair for Old Dog in a Locket and clipped off his wonderful topknot.
I had wondered with such a slow deterioration how I would know it was time. It all evolved in a rather surreal manner. Monday morning, his first-thing-in-the-morning coughing did not subside. I called the vet school and the cardiologist said to give him another 1/2 tab of Lasix. All day long, he could never get his coughing under control so he could nap. Just as he would start to go to sleep, I would have to do something which then caused him to wake up and follow me.
Finally at 5:30 pm I laid on the couch and committed to staying there until he went to sleep. He slept for two hours while I did not budge from the couch. After that he was back to normal as far as coughing, slept in the evening as always.
At 6 am he woke me up yelling his head off. He had apparently had an a-fib episode (like fainting) while sleeping and his head was caught under a piece of furniture. I moved him to a dog bed but he could not go back to sleep for quite a while. He was breathing very loudly and very shallowly. This was yesterday morning.
All day long he was quite fine and had NO coughing. This I found very unnerving as it's not normal. He did, however, have at least 6 a-fib episodes and those were really starting to piss him off. After his feet go out from under him, he can't stand up for a few minutes. He just lay there being very pissed off. Prior to this he's probably only had 6 a-fib episodes *total* and now here's 6 in one day!
I called the cardiologist who briefed me that it was very likely time to change to a different type of diuretic to help push fluid out of his lungs. She and I were both satisfied with an appointment for this morning. BJ was comfortable, no coughing, and quite fine for the rest of the day. We have been through the cycle of adjusting the meds many times so it was no big deal really. He was quite spry this morning when we got up.
I took him to the vet school this morning and he was stressed from the car ride (that's normal though he was quite relaxed in the waiting room) so she put him on oxygen for a bit so she could get a blood pressure measurement. She needed that to be sure the next stage diuretic would be appropriate.
I was there for two hours. She talked to me some more about the change in meds and a change to his other meds once she could get blood pressure measured. She had given him IV lasix twice by this time. I really like my regular cardiologist because he can look you straight in the eye and give you the facts. This doctor was soft-pedaling things and it took me a while to figure it out.
After another hour, she finally came out to tell me his blood pressure was fine and they would be writing up the changes to the new meds. I asked for prognosis and she told me all about the teeter-totter effect (which I knew) between heart and kidneys and that it was now days or weeks rather than weeks or months.
For several reasons I decided at that moment to euthanize BJ the next day at our regular vets and then bring his body over the vet school for a teaching necropsy as has been planned all along. She said that she would support that. She went and talked to the other cardio docs and they all came out to talk to me including our regular guy. I am sure glad he was there so that he could see BJ one more time. He really really liked BJ a lot.
He said saying goodbye to BJ tomorrow was a fine plan but that he was worried he wouldn't make it through the night. First time that I heard it was this serious. Now there's no question. I hadn't realized the vet school would do the euthanizing. I ran home, got some cheese and the two other dogs, came back to the vet school to say goodbye.
I had made the decision rather intellectually based on a) I would be presenting a seminar in British Columbia in a week and a half and I really wanted to be there when BJ left if at all possible, b) I promised him he could eat cheese on his last day if at all possible and c) I wanted Marcus and Joey to know he was gone if at all possible. Given all that, I had the opportunity to call it now and not stress him by staying at someone else's house.
That, as it turned out, was the right decision even though I did not really have all the information at that time.
They brought BJ into the room with Marcus, Joey and I. He had an IV catheter on with lime green vet wrap. On top of the lime-green vet wrap was a bright pink heart cut out of vetwrap. That was very sweet. The fourth year vet student on the case probably did that. She was having a hard time when our regular cardiologist and I were discussing all the arrangements.
BJ was having a hard time breathing and so could not eat his cheese. I held him as he left, the vet staff left the room so we could be alone. I held him longer than I have ever held a dead body in my life, talked to him, said our goodbyes. I laid him on the blanket they had out for him and let Marcus and Joey mill around. I gave them cheese by putting it right near BJ so they both could see they can eat right near him and he's not there to protest any more. Who knows if that did any good or not? I clearly wanted them both to know he's gone now.
I toasted BJ with a piece of cheese and then clipped his hair for the
locket. I wasn't sure about his topknot. I really wanted to cut that off. He
had such a gorgeous, profuse topknot but I also didn't want him to look
silly on the necropsy table (isn't that a funny thing to think of?). I
finally did cut it off. I clipped it from underneath while still in the two
bands hoping that will look like a trimmed head in some way.

I am very glad I was with him when he left. That was important to me and I had wondered if I would get back to the vet school in time or not. I'll try to write something about how special he was in a couple of days.

I did not want to put him in the back of my truck (which had a shell) because I felt it was awful to have a long flight and then be stuck in a truck with no one to relate to. But his crate (larger than I expected) would not fit on the seat in the cab of the truck. I dithered for a while as to what to do and then decided to break one of Helix's Rules and allow him to ride loose in the cab of the truck.
All the way home from the airport, BJ stood on the seat with his head
cranked around looking me straight in the eye. It was actually quite
unnerving. I kept wondering "what does this dog want?" That was my first
introduction to the absolute focus and attention the Havanese give to their
person! Checking in with his former mum when I got home - oh yes, she says,
the Havanese are practically born giving eye contact. And that's how BJ and
I spent the rest of his life together - giving each other total focus - his
eyes giving that soft direct look, always ready for whatever came next.


BJ very rapidly became the dog of my heart. I had never had such a relationship with a dog before. BJ was tuned into me. We clicked! He knew where I was headed in every training session. Looking into his eyes was a profound experience and, even now that he's gone, I can look at Heather's beautiful photos of him (http://www.tinyurl.com/BJBean) and still experience that feeling.



BJ standing up to that dog with such power and appropriateness was a picture
I'll never forget. And it was just the beginning of BJ's journey in the
world of helping other dogs. As the years went by I realized BJ had "that
presence" with other dogs. Adolescents would bump into him and immediately
back off with that "Sorry, sir, didn't mean to offend" look to their bodies.


Something I'll never forget in these groups was BJ teaming up with a Cocker bitch, Any. BJ and Any had the same style of running right in between play that was getting too "hot" and splitting the two offenders up. BJ would be on one side of the area and Any on the other. Something would start up and both BJ and Any would start to rush in. Sometimes they both went in but sometimes one caught the other's eye. It was if BJ said to Any "You got that one? Ok. Go for it" and would just stop and watch. And it happened in the other direction too. Any would signal BJ for him to take the lead and she would hang back and watch. There is nothing more exciting to me than watching teacher dogs in action and these two were terrific at their jobs!
Early on in BJ's "other dog work" he was learning about what he could or should do with any given dog. My take on him at that time was that he was not totally yet confident with his skills. A Boxer bitch, being taken off leash, charged at him by surprise. That really startled him and he ran to the gate and wanted out of the yard.
We corralled the Boxer and put her back on leash but I wanted to see what BJ would do next. I did not take him out of the yard but instead stood with the Boxer and her owner about 50 feet away from BJ. BJ sat at the gate and watched for a while. I really had no expectations of anything other than calming the Boxer's owner.
BJ started to walk slowly crossways to the Boxer, then he laid down, all the while watching her with his direct, yet soft, eyes, just studying her. He got up, walking to a new place and laid down. He did this several times as the owner and I were talking. I was watching BJ and then I noticed the Boxer - she sat on her own! BJ had calmed her into sitting. BJ was now in full force teaching mode. He moved slowly, did a down, moved again, did a down and gradually calmed the Boxer into this sit, then she laid down, then she had happy mouth panting.
What I loved about this is that BJ himself took on the role of repairing the problem. He rose to the occasion and did what was needed. And this is how he lived his life with me. He rose to every occasion that came along. He grew into his role of leader and teacher.
The one thing BJ loved in life was working with me in any form. He was ready to work on a moment's notice, ready to figure out the puzzle, ready to figure out what a dog needed, ready to figure out what a student needed. I would have clients learn clicker training by practicing with BJ. At first blush you would think he's a clicker savvy dog so aren't they learning in a rather staged setup? As it turned out, BJ had the knack of being a clueless distracted dog in the hands of a beginner and offered them the complete experience of shaping him into paying attention. It was his favorite game! I would be just about to talk to the student about moving their hand to the bait bag too early and BJ would already be leading them right down that path - "why is he looking at the food so much?" would be the student's lament. BJ, with a twinkle in his eye, had taught the student a lesson and I swear he did it on purpose! It was his way to stage lessons.
Talk about staging lessons! When Joey (Bearded Collie) came to live with us as a baby puppy, the true measure of BJ's teaching was revealed. BJ stepped right up to the plate on that one and raised that puppy *right*. There was no way a puppy in BJ's paws would have anything but exquisite dog manners and that has certainly been the result.
As a small puppy, BJ knocked him over and stood on him reading him the riot act. As Joey grew, BJ would have to knock over one half of Joey, then the other half, in separate motions. Joey always went over too - even long after he could have flat out said no. Joey is the dog he is today because of BJ's puppy lessons. BJ was a master and he LOVED it. His teaching of Joey just appeared from nowhere. I had no idea BJ had that in him prior to having a puppy. It was almost a reflex with BJ - he never let one thing pass with Joey either. He never hurt him or scared him; it was all ritualized as it should be, aimed at peace in the family.
I have so many more things I could say about BJ. I think I have captured some of his essence - he was a true partner with me in everything I did. Partner, leader, friend, puppy raiser, dog rehabilitator, heart dog - all in a small package.
Please visit Heather's photos of him - http://www.tinyurl.com/BJBean (he's the larger of the two Havanese). Heather has such a gift for capturing a dog's personality in her photos - I think you'll see the essence of this little dog with the HUGE heart (both literally and figuratively).

Thank you to all who have written with condolences.
BJ touched a lot of lives, directly and indirectly.
I am very grateful to have been given this
little dog 10 years ago and to have walked the journey I did with him.
He was a one in a million dog and oh! how I miss him.
Helix Fairweather
Albany
-Oregon-
U.S.A.

READ MORE ABOUT BJ HERE
Of course we want to thank Helix for the wonderful life and all the love she has given BJ.
We know how hard it is to loose your "heartdog",
that special dog that comes along once in a lifetime,
and our hearts go out to Helix.
We will never forget BJ, his legacy goes on,
nor will we ever forget Helix!
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